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How to turn negatives into positives

Let’s face it, the dissatisfaction with millennials will never stop and the dissatisfaction with Generation Z will never stop either. Even if we hate to admit it, we are never satisfied with our situation, we will always compare with others. And this leads to unhappiness most of the time. However, instead of wallowing in self pity, what we can do is make the best of our current situation

Focusing on your external/internal environment

Here’s an example, the cost of running a traditional business nowadays is more expensive than running one 20-30 years ago, because of rising rental and labour costs. The initial outlay of running a Café now could cost between S$100,000-$200,000. How are we supposed to fork out that sum of money if our annual salary is S$30,000? It would take years and years of scrimping to cough up the capital, plus, you will probably need more because you will be making losses for the first few months at least. However, instead of complaining about it, we can always alter our mindset and look for other solutions. It may be a lot cheaper to start a business 20-30 years ago but were they able to start an online business? I am sure starting an online business would not require you to pay rent, neither does it require you to pay labour costs. Does it seem more expensive to start a business now? I highly doubt so.

All of us tend to focus on negatives of everything, it seems like we are hardwired that way. However, if we can just focus on the positives for once, analysing how we can leverage on our external environment to our advantage. We can eradicate complaining altogether from our daily habits.

Focus on what you can do instead of what you cannot do

When I realised that my friends that I used to hang out had started to leave me out of their plans. Initially, I felt upset because I felt left out but instead of complaining about it, I acknowledged the fact that we had drifted apart due to a myriad of reasons. However, instead of thinking that I am unpopular or forgotten. I chose to accept that we are on our own journey and friends naturally fall in and out of life as we reach different milestones. We have our own pursuits in life and if someone does not think you are part of their journey, we need to accept it and move on to forge deeper bonds with others who matter. By not complaining, we force ourselves to accept the inevitable and we are able to put things into perspective.

Accepting the truth for what it is can hurt someone’s ego but accepting reality is the surest way to betterment. Why not channel that negativity into doing something that is productive? It could come in the form of the project that you have neglected for some time or it could  be spending quality time with other friends whom you do not want to drift apart.

Focus on the process and not the result

To err is human and learning from your mistake is crucial in preventing you from committing the same mistake. However, there will be instances when we can only learn from our mistakes after we failing more than 10 times or 100 times. For example, whenever I try  to pull a new move off move during Jiu Jitsu practice, I will fail miserably in the first few attempts. But after attempting and receiving feedback from my training partners on my mistakes, I was able to pull it off eventually after countless attempts. I could have easily given up and say that my physical limitations prevented me from pulling the move off if I had only focused on the result. It was through an arduous process of figuring out the little intricacies that helped me pull the move off. Each time I failed, I figured out what I could have done better instead of thinking I’m such a loser for failing. We should not do things just because of the outcome but value what we are doing regardless of the outcome. 

“It’s not about how many times you fall but how many times you get back up” – Abraham Lincoln

Focusing on the results make you bitter, focusing on the processes will steer you towards improvement. When we are too caught up with the results, success seems so impossible and guess what is your next move? Walking out the door seems like the easiest way out. We will never reach the next level if we give up too easily.

We need to force ourselves to evolve by putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations but is the fear of the unknown holds us back, which makes us afraid of change.

It’s funny how we are made for evolution but yet we are so resistant to change.

 

 

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