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Stop complaining like it helps, it doesn’t

(Estimated reading time: 4 minutes)

Complaining. We are all guilty of that. But that’s because we are humans. We complain to get things off our chest, albeit not the healthiest for growth, but it works. Complaining makes us feel better.

There’s a reason for that. It helps us release our pent-up frustrations and anger about something. It’s like a bottle or can of carbonated drink. When we open the cap or tab, there is a “tsst” sound that follows. It almost feels satisfying. Same goes with complaining. Just replace the tsst with our whining.

Complaining makes us feel like we’re not at fault. Complaining keeps us off the hook for some time, at least. The ironic thing, though, is that complaining doesn’t solve anything but our own hurt ego.

Ego is the enemy. It prevents us from growing. It prevents us from looking at the problem from an objective perspective. It prevents us from having control of our lives. It gives us the reason not to accept our flaws. It justifies our laziness, lack of effort, resistance to change, which maintains the status quo.

Complaining won’t solve anything

Sure, complaining helps us feel better. Only initially, though. Because the problem is not solved. In fact, complaining is a lot like victimising ourselves. The very act of complaining after something has already happened puts us back into the same situation. We are essentially reliving our problems and not doing anything about it.

By complaining, we put ourselves in a vulnerable position. Powerless. Merely a cog in the wheel. In the process, we emit negative energy and affect others too. Negative energy is counterproductive to almost everything. We wouldn’t want to do anything when our mood is bad, right? No wonder we don’t feel like doing anything when we complain!

But we should realise that unless we make a change, everything is going to repeat itself.

Devise solutions instead

Instead of complaining, why not step up our game? Why not be glad that we’re not freezing or burning in the desert? Why not try to convince our friends of our feelings? Why not just wait or go to another place with a better Internet connection? Or better still, when the Internet is slow or down, connect with your friends, family or colleagues instead?

When things go wrong, our first reaction is to complain. Sure, complain if we really need to release that tsst and get frustration off our chest. But at the end of all that, we should still look for solutions to the problems causing our complaints in the first place. Unless we intend to keep complaining for the rest of our lives?

Undoubtedly, solving problems is the hardest part of growth – we actually have to do something! It is quite easy to stop complaining, isn’t it? At least it’s easier than actually lifting your ass off the chair and start taking action. But for our own sake, we need to do it. Where to start?

Start with tackling what we can control

It’s almost funny how we are often drawn to the uncontrollable aspects of a problem. For example, if one wants to lose weight, stop thinking about body type, body frame, genes, basically everything biological. Unless there is a new discovery that biological structures can be modified without any side effects and is affordable for the average Joe, we need to stop focusing on those aspects.

Instead, think about what one can work on outside of one’s biological structure. Work on one’s diet, exercise regime, adequate sleep (we burn calories when sleeping too!), positive outlook on life, among many others. Focus on what we can control and we will realise how empowered we really are when we actually decide to do something about our problems.

Take it at our own pace

This might sound cliché but slow and steady wins the race. There are people born with special talents, a silver spoon in their mouths, great genes to be athletes and the list just goes on. Some of us are just born as a below average or average person.But don’t let that define us. Take it at our own pace and improve every day, strive to be better than yesterday. We will be surprised how much better we are, can be, and will be.

But don’t let that define us. Take it at our own pace and improve every day, strive to be better than yesterday. We will be surprised how much better we are, can be, and will be. Complaining won’t solve anything but our own hurt ego. Stop. Devise solutions by starting from what we can control and take it at our own pace.

It’s never too late to start. But the time is now.

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