Have you ever come across an article with the title “15 signs, he or she is a keeper.” Usually, I will see tons of these kinds of article on my news feed, I wondered why do people like to share such articles. It makes them seem quite shallow that they are using a checklist to evaluate whether to marry this person or not.
Why do they need to select our partners based on the criteria and expectations of someone they do not know? Firstly, why do they need the opinions of a stranger to reaffirm their decisions? Are they so blind to see whether their partner is genuine or not? It is akin to saying that they need to have this magical blueprint and checklist to decide whether they should spend the rest of our lives with this person. It makes the relationship seem like a contract instead because they are indirectly stating that these are the terms that has to be fulfilled or else the relationship is void. Of course it is natural to have expectations but don’t you think creating your own terms is more practical instead? We do Anot need the criteria of someone else’s version of the perfect girlfriend or boyfriend. Which is why it is imperative that we need to develop our own insights because that way we truly know our “Why”.
It might seem contradictory that whenever people read books, it seems to alter their perception on certain aspects of their lives, from relationship to fitness goals. It may seem like they are letting the ideas of a stranger dictate how they should live their lives. However, the key difference is that these authors are giving you the tools to help you live a fulfilling life. They do not provide you a checklist that determines if someone is a keeper or not. How does 2. “He remembers something that you mentioned in passing” reaffirms your decision in being in a relationship with him? He just might have a knack for remembering the weird stuff. Which is why developing your own insight is crucial if you want to find out if your partner is suitable or not. You need to dig deep down to find out what you truly like instead of basing it off some random checklist.
When you develop your own insight, you have a clearer picture of what you want. There will be a clearer distinction between what matters and what doesn’t. You get to dictate how to live your lives based on your terms.
You do not need to contemplate about staying at the job you dread everyday because you are unclear about what you should do next. With a clearer purpose, you do not need to drag yourself out of bed, only dreading for the day to end. You will find life more liberating when you are doing work which you actually care about. Time passes so much faster when you are focusing on deep work. Don’t you just love the feeling when you become so tunnel visioned on doing something well that you are willing to sacrifice sleep over it? Which is why developing your own insight becomes fundamental in finding your purpose because you won’t be swayed by what others say.
With your own insight in place, it makes you feel smarter in a certain way. You feel good whenever someone praises you for being smart or clever. However, has anyone ever complimented you by saying that you are wise for your age. You would feel euphoric because it makes you feel special. It makes you seem like you are well beyond your years in terms of your understanding of the world. It makes you feel confident about yourself because someone is actually validating your mental capacity because of your insight.
Being confident gives you courage, courage to do things you would normally not do. It buys you more time in this world when you are confident because you will not be afraid about the million what ifs. More could be accomplished when you are steadfast with your decisions and that only comes when you are confident.
Whether you choose to let articles dictate whether you should settle down with your life partner or not. Always be true to yourself and accept yourself before you try accepting others.